Synopsis: Time has come today - you must make time for what really matters in your life. And who you should let into your life and your orbit and who you should not. You must value your own peace, sanctity and what you will abide by and what you won’t. You must decide what your value is, and while you are at it, make sure your value is priceless
WARNING: I will warn you, and anyone else, in advance of you reading what follows, that you may be offended by the content.
So what, dear reader, is your pet peeve?
With your kind indulgence, I’m going to write here to you about one of mine — and I don’t have many of them.
As I get older I find myself having far less tolerance for BS, nonsense, manipulation, dishonesty or mistaking kindness for weakness.
The way I see it, in fact the way I have always seen it, even as a teenager — is that time is precious, life is precious and integrity, joy, fun, laughter, creativity, trust, good health and safety are paramount.
I am especially rigorous about time. I have long been. I’ve been very exacting and frankly unforgiving about having my time wasted, even when people sincerely apologize for doing so. That has been a non-negotiable quality of mine for a long time. Some appreciate or respect it - some, or I should write: many, do not. And I can understand this. I also understand that I can contour exceptions and have fashioned exceptions with time situations in the past.
On that note, grace is important as well, yes — grace, understanding (and flexibility!) is very important indeed — and I have these qualities and employed grace on many occasions — but as I age I do not utilize grace at the cost of people who waste my time or fail to regard it. Again, this gets ever more true as I get older. Call this one of my failings, call it one of my numerous shortcomings. Or not.
Yes, of course, of course, of course, this has happened to all of us — we have all been late for someone, to something or for something. I have been late. You have been late. Sometimes it is beyond our control. Many other times however, it is within our control. And some of us disregard that control, or procrastinate around it.
I hate, I mean abhor, being late — even five minutes late — to anything, to anyone, and for any reason. I care about time, and people’s time that much. It literally bothers me (and you can call that crazy or problematic) when or if I am late to anyone or anything at all, and even on the most “trivial” of occasions including starting my own Substack Live casts - which I was five minutes late in starting yesterday. I try to be better every day - better at being a better person in general, better at being clearer about the things and people I embrace and those I will not. I am not perfect. Nor are you. If we were perfect, perpetual misery would ensue!!
One of the points of writing this is to say the following: you must decide what your own value and self-worth are, and abide by those variables. You have the unique power to decide and determine your value and self-worth— no one else. You do not need permission from anyone to set parameters, boundaries and no-tolerance zones. And you can do all of this without apology, and for any reason that makes sense to you, even if it makes sense to no one else.
In this cruel world please know that there are some people who just do not deserve you.
Too many people — and I have experienced this too often — do not appear to value time or value or appreciate just how important it is. Time moves fast. What’s more, time flies and doesn’t need wings to do so.
I have always viewed time as an extremely important and valuable commodity. We are all living on borrowed time, as the late John Lennon would say, and it is paramount that even if we do not respect our own time or have a different and relaxed attitude as to time and punctuality.
An additional confessional: I have become so strict and serious about time with people that I have stopped trying to communicate to people about how much time really matters to me and in general. If you cannot appreciate that time is precious and that time matters, then why would I want to spend or waste any of it with you? (Or take the time to explain? We, after all, are grown ass adults.)
You may read this and unsubscribe — and to those persons I write the following: you have every right to unsubscribe if you see fit. Thank you, sincerely, for making whatever choice you make. As much I like to have subscribers and appeal to additional paid subscribers (and I do), integrity and being true to myself and to who I am, is far more important. Being at peace is even more important. Time is too important — life is too important. This moment is too important.
Please forgive the self-importance and rant-like feel to what you are reading here, but I think issues like those I write about here are also about ethics, behavior and morals, as well as about yourself (or me) as a person: How much are you willing to “tolerate”, “forgive” or abide by? That is as much about my own character and disposition as it is any offending person’s.
By the way, if you have situations in your life that you find to be dilemmas or complicated, please know that you have the ultimate power to maintain your own sense of peace, control and equilibrium over them. Reclaim your power, your happiness and your peace in this crazy ass world. You have that right. And you have that power. So please, reclaim yourself today. Against all the odds. It may be difficult for you to do so. Or it may be easier for you to do so. You may alienate someone in the process but even if that happens, know that nothing matters more in life than your own peace, happiness, safety, health and trusting in your gut instincts. And ultimately it will be for the better, believe me.
No matter what — and please remember this — there will always be people who will delight you and people who will disappoint you. You just have to decide whether you are willing to take a chance on being disappointed again (and again). But that, dear reader, is life, no?
Every moment counts. And when you decide just how much and what life means to you, and who you should spend time with and who should be in your orbit and who shouldn’t — then your decisions about many things in life will or should be made that much easier.
Thank you for reading this and understanding.
Spot on, Omar!